let me die.

2010-03-17T16:33:00.010+08:00

omg guesss what came in the mail?

i was at the post office to collect it like an hr ago (since i didnt realise the doorbell rang when i was sound aslp yest) & when the staff took it out & i saw a tube i was like, omg poster!!!!! :D

there was like super loadsa tape all over it. ALOT.

BUBBLEWRAP!!!
(reminds me of someone! hahas.)

&&&&&&&&&&&&
VOILA!
this is what i got from my dear girls as bday prez!
<3<3<3<3<3

cjn,maggie,syanni,trix,dinscy!

just to share my joy!
hahhas & this marks my pre return from hiatus post!

thanks so much girls, esp cjn for planning to get me this!
love ya! <3

2010-02-14T02:31:00.002+08:00

it was the first time i wanted to stop crying so badly.

please let everything be okay.

2010-02-12T00:24:00.003+08:00

mob is overrrrrrrrrrrr! i dont care if i screwed it. i dont care if i had a semi mental block during the paper. i dont care if i could have done better if i didnt study just one day before it. i'm just super glad it's OVERRRRRRRRRRRRR! :D

oh yeah, thanks mr lifesaver for your watch!

decided to move this part to private. no comments.

2010-02-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

everytime when i choose to slp/nap when i think i cant take it anymore right at the point before breakdown, my phone keeps ringing like some hotline. bloody fucking annoying. just when i need peace and quiet the most, ppl keep looking for me. great timing huh. 5 calls came in within the hr. _!_

maggie noodles, we shall play in our own circle okay! dont care her with her sunset already.

2010-02-08T12:55:00.002+08:00

NOTHING is going right for me.

i just screwed a presentation in the morn & i've been ranting to ppl about the actual reason on why i'm so pissed. i'm still not over it & i won't get over it. i was just stoopid & indifferent enough not to have done the research on my part. all i have to say is, I TOLD YOU SO. F.

kimjunsu is coming to sg but i can't go cauz firstly i dont have the cash to go,secondly i dont have a fren that's the daughter of like the organiser/planner/decison-maker,thirdly it'll be hard enough just to get into the site to get the tics & hope that the server wont crash, fourthly school has started by then & even if it was on a sat i wont be able to make it and lastly even if i manage to scrape up the money & go i wont have any tagging along beside me.

i have a paper in 3 days time & i havent started studying at all & here i am ranting about my fucked up life offending every person possible i can & still not studying. ps: i cant even manage a B+ in that module anymore. how great.

& just when i thought things took a turn for a better after that incident, it u-turned & now we're stuck at the beginning agn. why the fuck am i the only one being concerned over this shit? cauz i can't live knowing that my life is going haywire & be nonchalent as if it's normal that such stuff happen. i was the only one caught in the quarrel when that happened & i had to struggle to accept the fact that everything that was once there wouldnt be there anymore. yah, just continue to blame me. i'm the reason for all this troubles, isnt that what both of you think?

NO I AM NOT OKAY. FUCK.

2010-02-01T23:11:00.003+08:00

it's a NEW MONTH! like omg it's already been a month in 2010! feels like it's still 2008 man. maybe i'm still young at heart! :D

had crs presentation today & i think i really screwed my part up down & over. i dont even know why the fucking hell was i so nervous & my uptightness didnt die down till @ like 2+pm when i saw something that made me smile from ear to ear. (not georgeteo pls.) i hope i wont get penalized too much for my super sucky presentation today. gosh.

i thought both my ankle were going to burst just now. it felt like my blood could not flow & my blood vessels were on the verge of bursting. maybe the 2hrs nap made it worse,since the pain was channelled just to my ankle after the nap. luckily it no longer hurts anymore now. if not i swore i would just chop off my ankles!

mob paper in 10 days. HOW HOW HOW!?!?! i can no longer get an A for that module. man oh man. & mr north-pole wasnt being nice when i was ranting to him. i know, 6 module credits & i'm a goner. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I AM OFFICIALLY BROKE WHEN I'M ONLY 100BUCKS AWAY FROM MY IPOD.
wah lao, if not i could've gotten myself an ipod b4 cny man. why am i so freaking broke this jan?!

crazydonutboy acknowledged who he/she was, where's missghimmoh & miss14th?

2010-01-30T23:08:00.003+08:00

i think i'm losing it.
how could i actually be accustomed to failure?!?!?!?!?!?!

2010-01-24T12:41:00.002+08:00

i'm glad the crisis is over. LALALA~ time to celebrate!

i skipped mob lecture (yet again) & met up with maggie & cjn. headed back for choir @ gess. i really wanted to drag maggie along to meet mrs tan but she wasn't free, she had a meeting. what a pity. anyways, the state @ choir right now is really really demoralising. & now, they've made a decision, that is to let ms khor. let's hope it's all for the better. & i just got myself another pile of stuff to do by sticking my nose back into gess choir. my cousin & parents thinks i'm nuts for going back even after i've graduated. -.- now i gotta find time to fill in all the seniors about the detailed recall of what happen. man oh man. i dont even know how & where to start. haiz..

sick sick sick sick sick. but i'm glad this time there's no fever nor a bleeding throat. may amanda be well soon!

i should really get back to my report, even though i'm really reluctant to continue doing it. there's EGO, NEGATIVITY & IRRELEVANCE to deal with. omg someone help!

2010-01-15T22:51:00.003+08:00

quite long ago, at the very least it was in 2009, i was in a bus on my way home after heading out for the day. 51 that day was quite crowded since it wasnt double-deckered & i was at city hall when i boarded the bus. so after somewhile, when the bus was at chinatown, i noticed a 1gb memory card on the floor. i was thinking at that point in time " wow, a one gb memory card. but it's weird that someone only loses the memory card since it's supposed to be in the phone. i should pick it up before anyone else sees it." the bus stopped at a traffic light & i indeed picked it up. when i got back home, i told my brother abt it & even gave the memory card to him. he said it was lame to pick that up. -.- hey, at least i picked up something with some value!

back to the present now. i was fiddling with my harddisk moments ago & i recalled that my mum complained that her phone was lacking of music. since i'm bored, i decided to transfer whatever she wanted. i was looking for the 1gb memory card, since the other one only had 256mb, that was supposed to be in the spare phone but it was nowhere to be found. great, so i misplaced & lost the 1gb memory card. but then, i remembered that some time ago i brought 2 memory card & 2 phones out cauz the batt was going to die on me & i had no time to charge. just then, that 1gb memory card that i picked up & currently in the possesion of my brother was like waving me to me like, i'm here you moron. pestered my brother & he found the memory card.

10 mins ago i inserted the 1gb memory card into the phone & i saw mine & backy's photo.

how uncanny. & i thought i was in luck that day. turns out it was just picking up something i dropped.

2010-01-15T13:54:00.002+08:00

say hello to my long weekends, starting today since i decided not to go to class today. cheers! that translates to more slacking time & more relaxing time. yay-ness!

i feel kinda bad that i slept in dc's class yesterday. he was even kind enough to ask if i was alright. ohh mans. & he was sitting right in front of me when i was napping away. i feel rebellious.
LOL.

time to go rot again. with backy. hahahha.

2010-01-08T00:39:00.003+08:00

hello everyone!

since this is the first post of 2010, HAPPY NEW YEAR! (although it's like 8 days belated)

okay i shall start my ranting as usual.

it's been 4 days since school started & it feels like it's been 2 weeks. god man. i'm freaking tired every single day which causes me to nap once i get home. the horror of not doing my work is seriously catching up to me & scaring me. i can't even rmb a single shit of any mosdules, it's like first day of poly ever all over again. & there's like abt a month more to the final exams which means i'm so dead. moreover, there's like projs & tests. WHY OH WHY IS TIME PASSING SO FAST?!

i've been sitting in front of the com since 9pm wanting to do research on euthanasia but i still havent even started. gosh. & i'm not gonna be free on sat. i am doomed. prepared to fail the essay test on monday. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

wah lao i just realised even since sch started my life ended. SO BORING! tsk.

oh!
to julytps, please take care & watch what you eat my dear. it's been ages since we last saw you! GET WELL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

to lkl, you'll pull thru this, JIAYOU! we'll help in whatever ways we can! don't worry abt sch & settle yr stuff first.

&&&& i met phyllis & mr frozen today! cheers! (:

break out in 19 days! :DD

2009-12-29T21:22:00.004+08:00

jude law in sherlock holmes was totally loved! <3<3<3<3<3 i'm like pining for him to appear on the screen more than robert downey jr. watson was so cute! XD

didnt go for choir bbq! it was like go or don't go but since i woke up @ 4pm today & it'll be like 3 hrs later i'll need to go for the bbq so i decided not to go. hope it was fun! man, i want to catch-up with miss phyllis teo & the current committee for updates.

dear s is in japan now! FUKUOKA.

ohmyfuckinggod. 5 more days & school begins. fook man fook.

can't we just fast forward till march when the 1st school yr is finally over & i'll be a tad more richer than i currently am? tsk tsk.

~~man oh man, i wish that i still miss you.~~

2009-12-25T03:00:00.002+08:00

met up with dear s.

watched avatar. (it was nice btw, but not till the best movie ever or till awesome.)

had dinner @ kenny rogers'.

shopping. (shopping with them 2 always involve harsh comments!)

celebrated xmas together (3 of us) for the first time.

celebrated s's birthday. (belated for 23 days.)

home sweet home @ 11.50pm.

meeting up agn on mon for sherlock holmes. can't wait!

out with dac02 clique tmr @ 11am but i'm only turning in @ 5am cauz i just ate a bag of chips. okay actually no link. lols.

2009-12-23T05:12:00.002+08:00

i swear i'm only gonna marry a guy that doesnt puke after drinking. like i said, i'm gonna divorce him each time he pukes after drinking. can you imagine the potential damage the furnitures will be at each time he pukes. not to mention it's super gross & stinky. absolute reason why abstinance of alcohol is better!

okay there's like karaoke going on right now before me & another bunch of people sleeping. my shoulders are aching from the entire day. this is the aftermath of an event! hahaha.
the event's really successful i think. just that there were some confusions with the presents. otherwise it was nice! but tiring ahhh. && i got an exchange gift totally not worth of mine! BOOOOOOOOO! there's still gonna be meeting in a few hrs time. HOO-RAY. omg the person singing currently ABIT OUT OF TUNE ah & monotonous. -.-

break out is out ya'll! " i keep breaking the hearts, yeah baby keep the faith eternally! " " break out break out!"

right, to the dac02 girls, i dont think i can prepare anything for the picnic on friday ehh. i'm totally BROKE now. like ZERO after paying for my events stuff. how how how? but my present is definitely settled!

thanks for the kinder bueno, miss you-know-who-you-are.

i want to call miss fiona ng shi min now & talk to her!
same applies to miss alison kok, mr frozen, miss syanni attan, mr goh guan cheng, mr mhmd hazim, miss dina amalina & miss phyllis teo!
i miss you people lahhh!

2009-12-21T20:43:00.001+08:00

oh man maybe i should stop buying presents that i like. such a difficult decision to give it out or keep it for myself. tsk tsk tsk.

i'm super broke this christmas.

2009-12-19T01:29:00.003+08:00

thanks for that extra stress, that's totally uncalled for. freak. just shoot me already.

i feel like getting into a car accident right now.

___________________________________________________________

i got dl's present i got dl's present i got dl's present ! okay i'm like hungry right now thanks to eating in the wee hrs last night.

ahhh whatever, i'm too moodless & pissed to post anything decent.

2009-12-17T00:01:00.002+08:00

it's spiraling out of control. everything went downhill from that incident.

-
-
-

i dont know what to do. the voice back in my head tells me to leave it, if it's meant to be it'll fall into place perfectly.

but the other part of me tears up at the thought of losing it.

-
-
-

you have someone else.

i dont.

2009-12-14T15:10:00.002+08:00

okay i swear backy has the best dog nose ever. a second ago, she was in the living room doing god knows what & i'm on the bed using the laptop. the moment i reached out for the choc biscuit beside me she ran in. like okay i havent even start eating. now that i'm done with it she's out in the living room again. LOLL. cute right backy!

my event is done! finally something i dont have to fret about anymore. that even caused me my sleep during the msts. i literally jolted out of bed when i thought of some problem cropping up during the event. @.@ we didnt really have much to do but still, thanks to all the 15 of you who came down to help! <3

i'm going out tmr i'm going out tmr i'm going out tmr! although i'm broke from buying my bro that fossil wallet. that's like twice the price of my current wallet! but well, i've owed him too many years. hehehe.

right, i just read some fucktard (ohmygod i can't believe i just used that word) stuckup's blog. like super drama mama. you werent popular. you just stood out like a sore thumb. & give me a break with all that exaggeration on your situation when you can still manage all that unecessary bullshit "fashion" pieces. GROSS.

i thought i've changed when i read the archives on my blog. but i've just realised it's just that i choose not to spell out everything. that or everything was just at a spur of the moment. okay this is just randomness at its works.

past < future ! namie amuro!

right,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAWSONGYONG!
i dont care i'm still the first to wish!

2009-12-11T20:49:00.002+08:00

damn it. i forgot there's still the event tmr before i'm actually FREEEE. screw the bananas & chicken nuggets. tsk. okayyyy i should not fret over it now. i think tmr's gonna be a disaster but i'll leave it for tmr to worry & stress about.

anyways, i finished all my papers!!! WOOTS~ *starts celebrating like a kid that just got a lollipop* i think i wont do well at all for any of the papers but oh well it's all over. i can't do anything anymore. just that i hate it when i panick. damn it man.

i got my cup! i got my cup! i got my cup!

&&& i bought a fossil wallet for mr wlkm. i hope he likes it!

&&&&&& i got the xmas xchange prez for the dac02 clique already.

YAYNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

i cant wait to start rotting at home. slacking ftw!

i'm in a chirpy & high mood now. WOAHHHHHHHH~

2009-12-09T18:22:00.003+08:00

over-confidence kills.
not studying kills.
slacking kills.
sleeping kills.
mst week kills.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

omg omg omg. 2 more papers to go & i'm finally freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! can't wait x 1000000000000000000000000000000!

today is mr wlkm's bday. i know he'll never see this but still, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY! LMAO that you're stuck in army. hohoho. X)

i'm missing my dear aly! but i dunno why too ehh. YES i don't miss you m & j & s. HAHAHAH. don't sell my cup!

i dont want to study for itabbbb laaaaaaaaaa. BOOOOOOO~

2009-11-29T21:05:00.003+08:00

**a***s* isnt even the word to describe anything.

i just think my life sucks. i will never understand why i'm in this predicament.
sometimes i just wish all these would end & i would die this very second. maybe that solves everything.

the silent heartbeat that resounds in the lonely night.

2009-11-27T21:27:00.002+08:00

i have less than 2 weeks to my papers & i'm still not studying. i'll need more than a miracle to actually even pass. goddamnit.

spstar yest! being in pubs was really tiring. luckily ida was in pubs tooooooo! non-stop work for the entire day & we didnt even manage to enjoy the show. AWW MAN. &&& JOHNADAB DIDNT WINNNNN. )': BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! but it was quite nice working with ida,siuyun & gina. WOOOOOOOTS.

mydadboughtmyyoghurt.
mydadboughtmyyoghurt.

i wasted today trying umpteen times to download some stuff & load vids. i'll blame that when i fail my papers starting on 7thdec2009.

2009-11-22T00:32:00.002+08:00

if only i could *** like changmin when he did during mkmf last year. maybe i'll feeel a thousand times more relieved.

2009-11-19T23:08:00.002+08:00

ohmygod i really hate the weather nowadays! i'm in a sweater & & long pants but i'm still freezing.
-.-

i met m for like 5 mins yest. HAHAHAHA. 5 precious minutes!

can't wait for mob to be over tmr. don't care if i screw up the presentation. i just want to get it over & done with. & my brain isnt working to think of what to say tmr. wah lao i should just shoot myself.

2009-11-16T22:22:00.004+08:00

time to blog again lest someone nags that i dont blog abt today.

short day today! woots~ only had ideas in the morn for 2 hrs & i skipped lecture later in the day for the secret mission 101.

i can't really recall the details, or rather the fact that i lost the bday card got me really depressed so everything that happened b4 there was just simply forgotten. )): wahh i really felt like crying there & then lahh. it was like totally sian-ed when i realise the card was missing. it wasn't even funny man.

anwws not to make her bday sound so emo, we did manage to surprise her with the switch-a-roo. we were like super obvious but apparently the bday girl was totally clueless that we were dodging about at the box-office. i think the 4 of us were in our own world when we here hiding & dashing about just to avoid being discovered. if i were to witness that i would think those people are crazy & super lame when the area is so darn small.

the present moments was damn ... ermm ... okay ... weird! i had to come out with a LITTLE WHITE LIE just to introduce the present to the bday girl. LOL. as for details to the lie, SECRET!
seriously, it shld only stay within the 5 of us! && i must once again declare that i have nth to do with ... ... ... it was all just a lie for the whole plan!

OHHH in btw we gave cjn a mini-surprise too for topping history for her cohort! she didnt believe when we said it was for her. -.- see la being nice oso so difficult. LOL.

we got treated to earls swensens! well, we got it after an hr of complaining & nagging that made the bday girl feel bad that she chose to treat her jc peeps inste ad of us & cancelling of her plans with her jc peeps. we're more important okay! too bad csw couldn't join us. aww man.

twl & dl left after lunch/dinner. the 3 of us got to skypark & started our photography class. HAHAHA. photos shld be up on facebook soon. WOOOHOOOO~ i look nicer than the bday girl! :D

to the 5 of you:
i'm really sorry for losing the card okay! like super duper sorry. i was damn damn guilty but the bday girl kept harping later so i sorta got over it. BUT STILL SORRY FOR LOSING THE CARD! )):

the weather has been real chilly these days. you can't really survive in an aircon room without a jacket or sumthin. i nearly froze to death last night. i could feel my heart constricting. that was how severe the coldness was to me. && i couldnt breathe properly cauz it was too cold many times in the week. i'm not suffering from a heart attack la. -.-

ohmygods i hate this semester so so much! pack like shit & i've been missing out on my dramas & chill time! BOOOOOO~
HOLIDAYS COME SOONER!

2009-11-09T22:52:00.001+08:00

team eggggg survived!!! hip hip hurray! i think i nearly had a heart-attack when we let our egg fall from 3^rd floor & it landed on its side. I could have killed someone if the experiment didn’t succeed. that morning was just full of angst, frustration & a huge urge to cuss. Just to say that morning would have been better if ppl weren’t late on such an impt day & after umpteen reminders the previous night.

Went to choir concert! Wooots~ ms khor was pretty in her bling-bling-red-kebaya-like costume. The acoustics of the hall wasn’t that desirable though. && of course, everyone could have done a better job but they do deserve props for doing a concert in such minimal time, esp GESSCHOIR! It’s really pitiful when you have a good voice but your looks & dressing is horrendous. YJY RETURNS! O.O she could have pulled off as murderer-nurse if she had blood splattered on her white-olden-days-nurse-uniform-with-a-scarf-hat. What a pity.

Okays i need to go do my work even though i’m getting drowsy & about to fall asleep. May my feet recover soon! Ouch ouch ouch!

Missing my REALL SCANDALOUS (must be kept a secret!) ~
not heweijian pls. >.<

2009-11-05T22:36:00.002+08:00

ponned school yesterday! (OOPS.) it's really damn sian to wake up early in the morn, go for an IT class, listen to some boring chinese history lecture & go home. i'd rather stay home to study.

today was actually quite nice & i dont know why either! ^.^ but spss was really sucky & i'm afraid i wont be able to pass. 15% of my grade. goddamnit. ohmygod i think i'm in love with depreciation like how i was with logarithms. LALALA~ maybe that's what made this week feel good! hohoho. or maybe it was cauz i was feeling hyper all week~ the weather defines my mood!

i want to hangout all day longgggggg!
with ... ... ... ... SCANDALOUS*!

i particularly miss 2 ppl! :D:D:D:D:D:D

team eggggg ftw! humpty dumpty!

2009-10-31T21:22:00.001+08:00

yesterday was a blast! it's been a really long time, well at least it felt like it, that got me real excited for something!

okay i'm in the mood for a lengthy post, so here goes.

skipped mob lecture (OOPS.) & met up with d in sch b4 heading off to get stuff for the night. it took so much longer than what we expected & only got to m's house at 4+pm when we were supposed to be there at 1pm. maybe it was cauz d was in a shopaholic mode & we just couldnt stop looking at stuff & going ahhhhh i want to buy! LOL. okaays so we got to m's house, made a havoc trying to get the preparation done & rushed to the bday girl's place at 6+pm.

from that moment onwards it was hectic.

we had SO MUCH things to do but SO LIL time! swopped the-codename-precious-since-i-dont-wish-to-scare-off-any-potential-suitors-of-her & got around putting up the decorations in the room. that includes the "happy 60th birthday", we're planning to reuse it so that explains it, the getai or xmas ermm shimmery scarf-like-decoration thing & last but not least the SPIDERS & SPIDER WEBS. it was real tough trying to get the spiderwebs look scary & have it spawn,is it the right word?, all over the room. i got entangled within like a dozen of times. it felt like tomb raider, pronounced tooomb raider & not tom-b raider, trying to manouver through the room. it resembled those laser beams that you see in movies where the agents or thieves had to perform aerobic-yoga like positions to get across safely.

we were in the midst of doing decorations & prez when we heard the door or something. we thought it was the bday girl so we panicked. turns out it was just the bday girl's gramma. so, we continued with what we were caught up with. awhile later, not too sure how long, the bday girl's gramma told us the bday girl was back. we panicked again but we scurried to hide under the table with the lights offed. when i was hiding it struck to me that my phone & the prez was on the bed & lots of stuff were not kept yet. i was literally praying that she wouldnt realise anything & for my phone not to ring. guess what? it was t. she served as our guinea pig. hahahs. continued with our race-against time preparations.

the bday girl's gramma came to tell us that the bday girl was back. panicked again & we crazily threw all the stuff into one corner & i slid across the room from the door to under the table. 3 of us were under the table, t was behind the door. this time it took longer. ended up it was the bday girl's mum. just a shortwhile later, we were told she was back agn. panicked & went into afrenzy. i was getting a lil pissed cauz i was suspecting it was a false alarm agn. & it really was! it was twl. i nearly sweared man. tomb raided around the room cauz the intial awesome affect was gone with the runthrough by d & the previous false alarms. it was really funny cauz we couldnt even open the door with our effects.

at 9+pm news had it she was back. since everyone that supposed to be present had arrived we knew it had to be the real deal. everyone was in their hiding places & t started the killer joe thing as soon as the bday girl opened the door. too bad i was blocked by the chair,it was to cover me, i couldnt really witness her reaction. but m spoilt it! she laughed! i was really pissed by that. the bday girl knew m was in the room. however, she didnt dare to enter cauz the room was laid with spider & spiderwebs & she thought there was something behind the door that would pop out & scare her. she kept pushing the door & poor t was squashed. hahahas. i can't believe the bday girl asked if it were real spiders that was in the room. i was thinking to myself, "as if we would put real spiders. we ourselves were afraid of them. it was a long time, it felt real long & it was longer than all the previous times & there was just pure awkwardness where the bday girl didnt know what to do & we wouldnt appear yet, all because twl was lighting up the candles for the cake! sang happy birthday & we finally emerged from under the table & behind the door. surprise was over! we heaved a sigh of relief & i was more happy that our mcdelivery came. LOL.

the first thing the bday girl realised was that her precious was missing. & she kept asking for it & roaming around trying to look for it. she didnt even appreciate our efforts!

halfway through eating our macdonalds at the living room, m appeared from the room with a mango cake/mousse & the others started singing happy birthday. i was in shockkkkkk! i was too exhausted to think & the first thing that came into my mind was huh?. LOL. a surprise in a surprise! when m & d were whispering to each other right in front of me when we were out & earlier in the day, i was really annoyed. it's bad enough u're not involving me in it & you're doing it right b4 my eyes! i found out then that it was actually about this surprise. hahahahs. what's more was that when i was with d earlier getting stuff for the surprise for the bday girl, she was saying that she wants to get a prez for her friend. so actually i was that friend & i didnt even know it. LOL LOL LOL. i nearly didnt get the nicer prez cauz of my comment when she wanted to get it. phew! hahahhas.

the night continued with the bday girl's spot the difference & treasure hunt. i think she was in a stun mode all the while. she didnt realise the changes till we almost literally revealed where it was. chatted throughout & we left at 11.30pm.

lovely night spent with lovely ppl! :D

kinda sad that the bday girl didnt receive my **** on her bday itself. i hope it doesnt go missing!

*gets back to reality*

ahhhh i need to do my ideas zbrush. SUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~
& i'm sickkkkkkkkkkkk. oh mans.

2009-10-27T10:43:00.003+08:00

it's gotta be a joke when i need to ~~scrimp & save~~ just to get a darn internet connection. i swear my life is at the verge of a major breakdown. i foresee it coming soon anws. it's just a matter of time.

i hate Murphy's Law.
"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

i think i'm kidding myself with all this attempt to make changes. at one point i feel like everything will work out for the better & life would actually change yet reality hits hard & i find myself barely able to breathe every night. i'd like for a miracle to happen but it's impossible isnt it? i can't even candy-coat the state i'm in to deceive myself that this is just a passing phase. i'm still in denial & i dont plan on waking up from it. what's the point when you're enduring it all alone & can't even tell anyone abt it (well maybe one person knows 80% of the story) cause you know they wouldnt understand & the last thing you want is judgement & pity.

i just hate ..... my very existence.
i can't snap out of this trance.
i can't embrace reality.

i'll appreciate if nasty comments can be kept to yrself. it's my blog to rant. i dont fucking a bullshit on what you think. cauz you have no darn clue. stop acting as if you've been thru worse. i dont give a damn.

ohmygods. i can't wait to do some crazy stuff this friday.

2009-10-20T12:23:00.003+08:00

gosh, 2nd day of sch & it feels it's the 2nd month of the new sem already. my bones are abt to shatter & muscles are aching like fuck.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
i want to hibernate. literally.

___________________________________________________

stretched earlobes. ouch. but i had a nice chat with mrstan & re-lived choir singing for a lil bit. early days rock my socks. WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

2009-10-15T21:55:00.005+08:00

i think my heart's gonna stop one day with all these bad stuff happening. when will lady luck actually stay by my side? next thing i know i'll be going to the hospital or sumthin. TOUCHWOOD.

last night's call was really life-saving. thank god.

the drama isnt going to end anytime soon. goddamnit.

____________________________________________________

went out for movie yest. yayness & i finally ate pastamania after so long! it'll be a nicer night if we actually had somewhere to go after 9. sg sucks.

on the side note:
東方神起 cannot ~~break~~!

2009-10-13T10:21:00.003+08:00

i can go kill myself now.

i'm studying at T19,20,20,22 & my GEMs is at LT5B. tell me a reason not to kill myself. i can take a bus ride to my gems every week. HOORAY. _!_

edit;
i got to change classes for my gems. YAYS. :)

2009-10-08T23:28:00.004+08:00

ohmygosh i cant believe it but i really missed ~~you~~. *goes crazy* truth to be told, i've been thinking loads about ~~you~~ lately although i know i shldnt. *gets shot* this shldnt happen shldnt happen shldnt happen anymore. get out of my mind. LALALA~

damn it sch is starting in a week! AHHHHHHH!!!!! THE HORROR!!! & i must rant about how sucky my timetable is agn. like seriously starting at 8am & ending at 5pm for practically everyday. sp is out to kill! luckily i'm exempted from dip-plus this coming sem. i can't imagine spending more than 12 hrs in sch regularly. *shivers at the thought of it*

okay my memory is failing me, i can't really recall what i did for the past week. short-term memory! did i mention i have reading difficulties now too?! i know, i shld just shoot myself.

2009-10-04T20:49:00.005+08:00

i'll bite my lips & accept it even if i have to *** for it myself. i don't care if it's a hasty decision. i need something to distract myself.

goddamnit i need to talk to someone to prevent the tears from flowing.

2009-10-02T09:52:00.003+08:00

i only slept at 4.30am last night/this morn, had a shock & jolted awake at 5.40am & backy woke me up 6.30am & i've been awake till now. ohmygod i'm like physically so tired but my mind is still quite awake. i shall force myself to bed while my downloads continue. perhaps i should only wake up during dinner time. that way i can not eat.

seriously man, someone pls tell me if i shld accept dip-plus. i'm in a dilemma.

damnitishouldhavepostedinmoredetailabouthowitwasresolvedthen. zzz. anyone up for jigsaw?

2009-10-02T00:38:00.002+08:00

great i think i un-intentionally did something & i wonder what my brother's reaction would be when he receives the **** when he's back. goddamnit. it wasn't even my fault it happened. screw the shit. like there isnt enough shitty stuff happening. __

that aside, it was cultural's first official event today! YAY! i can't exactly rmb what we did & what went on in details but i'm definitely loving them more. :D cultural zai!

say goodbye to slacking & rotting in 3 weeks time when sch officially begins. ohh man, time passed too fast isnt it? it didnt even felt like it has been 4 weeks of hols.

i think i need sleep soon. maybe i'll have nice dreams like the previous nights! :D may ~~YOU~~ appear in my dream again!

2009-09-25T12:46:00.002+08:00

i think she's outta kill us. she wont realise the severity of everything until when all is gone. it's like the worst nightmare ever again & the word 'seizure' is haunting every breath.

i had a nice time this morning. i'm amazed on how awake & how hyper i am when i only slept for 3 hrs. giggling at everything like a crazy maniac was quite silly but it makes me super cheery! i feel like smiling all the time with no particular reasons. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

results were out 2 days ago & i seriously think it sucked. darn EC for screwing my gpa & thanks to screwing my paper,my FOM,which is like a core module, didnt get what i slugged my time for.well, not for the paper, for the projects. lalala i hope next sem gets better, but there goes my dream of a perfect gpa.

hahahaha i dont know why but i feel like jumping around & laughing till my cheeks cramp now. i know i'm weird. LOL!

2009-09-21T21:34:00.002+08:00

goddamnit i have a sore/sprained neck now & it bloody hurts!

actually i have nth to blog about. hohoho. i'm too lazy to type about chalet.

&& i plan to not go for __________ ____ .

woots!

i hate you! x 3

i don't understand why i keep making the same mistake over & over again.

you should be the last person i ever tell anything ever again.

2009-09-15T16:07:00.002+08:00

yay finally i'm using the internet. & as usual i'm tapping into spwireless. hohoho. save the questions, i won't give u a direct answer anws.

ANYWAYS

we ( not telling who & who :D ) went to the airport yesterday to sent a off. he's gonna be studying in cali for the next presumably 5 years. wonder how things are gonna turn out for everyone in 5 years. maybe one of us could even be married or even be a millionaire. hahaha well, i can dream can't i? so i woke up at like 4.45AM when that's usually my slping hr & reached the airport at 7++ AM. the journey was just LONG but surprisingly i wasn't sleepy at all. lols. met a & chatted for a while & he's off. it was kinda worrying at the gates, a seemed like he would get lost in the lounge & miss his flight. for that second i was seriously worried how he was gonna make it in cali man. LOL. okay wait i missed the main part, he was transiting via seoul to san fransisco. BOOOOOOOOO~ why does he get to go to seoul, the part of the world where i want to be at the most ? :( roamed around t3 & t2 until we finally got our breakfast. i could have gotten a cup of mango ice-blended at mccafe for $2.55 but someone just refused to get a drink. no fair! left the airport after breakfast & went to meet our respective frens later. both late yo! all thanks to that someone as usual. but at least my journey only took an hr. hohoho.

celebrated xiuhui's belated bday at newyork2 yest too. hahah. just piece up the puzzle & you get my schedule for the entire day. i'm lazy to elaborate about this though. just go facebook & see. HAHAHAH. although i hate myself in all the photos. -.-

i am dying of hunger right now but i can't eat cauz i have no money. story of my life man.

class chalet tmr. woots can't wait. i want to hear ghost stories & scare myself to death, since there's so much paranoia already.

is it me or is my command of language getting worse?

okay i better get started on the impt stuff before i get seriously screwed next week.

2009-09-06T00:53:00.004+08:00

i'm still not tired now although i haven't slept much since yesterday (4th sept). i want to walk around singapore but no one wants to acc me. -.-

movie marathon was seriously UNCOMFORTABLE. i think being stuck in assembly for 3 hrs would have been a lil more comfortable if it wasnt for the fact of the air-con. the movies were not exactly worthy to watch in my opinion. but the chat time in the clubhouse was quite nice. hohoho.

was out in the evening & i just got back slightly more than an hour ago. G-FORCE IS SOOOOOO CUTE!!!! but i gotta say, the animation wasn't complete. some parts were good but some parts just seemed to be overlooked. & i can't believe i watched a disney show paying 10 bucks for it. that reminds me, i still owe e the money. LOL. *acts blur* i hope a gets used to the culture in cali. let's hope for a major transformation! i'm wondering if we shld send him off. hmmm... but he treated us dinner! thanks dude, although u most probably wont be seeing this. p/s: i am loving c's bracelet/bangle!

damn it i have a sore neck again. ouch ouch ouch.

i was afraid it might get too close for comfort. :/ (goddamnit, i might really regret typing this here & as my pm. fook.)

2009-09-02T16:51:00.002+08:00

I'm loving my private blog more.

It's just so fake here.

EWW even I'm disgusted at myself.

2009-09-02T00:59:00.002+08:00

pardon the incoherence,haven written in a longg time.

7 weeks of holiday. sounds like a great time for some changes to occur, some difference to be made. but it sounds like a better time to just rot the time away. hoho :P seriously i've been cooped at home since my last paper on 28th & i only stepped out for the house like for 15mins today just to get some groceries. behold my nice little start for the long holidays. XD

you know what, my laptop hanged on me again. thank god it didnt crash. i'll burn it if it ever does crashes agn this yr!

gess isnt doing too well i heard. seems like another rvps in the making, just a whole lot worse. seriously, i heard so many teachers left & the standard of the students seem to worsen with every batch. & i heard the new princ is a real bitch? & what's more she ***** ms khor. screw her man. it's human to err for the love of god, some kinda double standards you have. i'll salute u if u have nvr not meet up to expectations. i hope the sch gets worse under ur guidance. *rolls eyes*

backy has such a better life than me. my mum gives her my food! where in the world did the word fairness go man? oh i forgot, it didnt even exist in the first place. she's such a princess dog. -.-

gosh, time has been passing so quickly. it's already the 2nd of sept. like seriously ohmygawd. i haven't seen some of my frens for like months. & i can't believe it's already been months since i last saw them. it was like i didnt even really had the time to miss them :X . but i still do okay. i seriously miss the times when we would just be classes away from each other. now even if we're in the same school compound i don't even get to meet them, needless to say those in different schs. guess some stuff shldnt be left unspoken huh? like i miss you & stuff. it's widening the drift with every hesitant conversation. :(

ahh my mind is a blank right now.
till the next time~
sayonara peeps.

2009-08-30T18:32:00.001+08:00

it's painful trying to act indifferent.

someone cut the sorrow.

a walk down memory lane.

2009-08-26T12:44:00.001+08:00

i had a nice lunch. most importantly, it was alone. :))

2009-08-22T14:28:00.003+08:00

i think i'm playing with hell for not studying when my papers begin in less than 48hrs.

i'm living in paranoia for this 7th month.

2009-08-18T00:51:00.003+08:00

guess what? a shortwhile after my previous post, my com crashed. F to the max man. i had to bring my laptop to sch TODAY at 9am & i only got to leave at 1.30pm. DAMN it. i think blogging is cursed. maybe i should stop procrastinating & study.

why are you appearing in my mind when i visit the places we once went? & i can't avoid it.

i made a resolution. yeah whatever. it just says so much. it's like i want it but forget it, i can't be bothered anymore. that's when life is filled up with F F & MORE F. i just don't care if whoever were to die tmr. even if u (whoever, bullshiter ) dropped dead right before my eyes, heck it.

it's like the whole world is against you & nth is going your way.

2009-08-14T17:20:00.003+08:00

i found a new hate for the word seize. it haunts me deeper than the grand canyon. it made my temporary peaceful life worse than a whirlpool. but there was no one i could turn to, no one to make things better even for that moment, no one to stop the tears from flowing and no one to help. suffocation, literally.

something LESS emo & secretive,

i met up with my dear s after dunno for how many eons! that's the thing about meeting up with old friends, even after so long, it still felt as though we've been spending alot of time together. love love love love her to bits & pieces. 3 of us make something special & magical. HOHOHO. & I finally ate at ikea for the first time in my natural born 17 years of life. i spent more than what i would spend at a restaurant when it's supposedly cheaper. -.-

watched a movie after so long, AGAIN, like yesterday. seriously, i dont think the movie is worth going to cinemas for. jack neo should get some originality man. what's with all the cliche & seen-b4 horror? the comedy wasn't funny. it was more like some crude humour. most importantly, it didnt seem like a movie, it was more like a mini series for mediacorp. another crappy production i'd say.

i haven seen loads of ppl for a really long time & i think it's gonna get awkward if we don't meet up soon. i can imagine brushing past someone once familiar & hesistate to even say hi. not liking the feeling. tsk.

i am currently camping out in foodcourt 5 tapping into the wireless network, surfing the net till i rot & die. my internet connection aint working back home, for the same fucked up reasons that i dont wish to reveal. likewise for my phone so i'm basically out of reach unless you know my current temporary number which is only known by like less than 10 ppl or so. try my house phone, i'll nvr know you called cauz it aint fucking working. _!_ <<-- get the idea, the other symbol aint working.

i can't wait for my exams to be over so that i have a valid reason to rot & die & mope about every single detail in life. JUST CAN'T WAIT.

no updates till exams over or when my fucked up life gets proper somehow.
toodles~

2009-08-02T17:28:00.004+08:00

affected by recent events.

will be back when exams are over,most prob.

don't act like you know when you know nth at all.

i wonder what i'm doing everyday. i find it tough to see a future. as usual the same stuff sets in. fuck.

i'll scold fuck all month long if things could change that way. fuck fuck fuck.

2009-07-29T23:30:00.002+08:00

i regret ***r*****g. damn it. i'm starting to feel the effects of it & i'm not liking it. what's more, i'm trying to ****n myself with ***er cauz i'm feeling super guilty about it. i think i can puke now. this feeling sucks. bleah. i swear i'm going to do something about it. it's spiralling out of control. BOOHOO.

maybe i should start studying & start paying attention in lectures and tutorials since ests are less than a month away. i want my prefect gpa although it's seemingly possible at this point in time.

i did a good deed & gave my balloon to a little girl just now. (:

on a sidenote, i'm still not liking the taste of beers.

2009-07-26T16:38:00.003+08:00

my head hurts like fuck now & something tells me it has gotta do with my bad feeling of flunking tmr's writing test & screwing my presentation tmr.

i dreamt i was left with 20 mins to do a test & i ended up not finishing any questions, which meant i failed.

tell me they are not linked.

mye is less than a month away. i think stress just caught up to me.

2009-07-22T18:37:00.002+08:00

i think i'm getting a lil too happily easily lately. HAHAHA. ohmygod. i can't believe that just came out of my mouth, well technically my fingers. i go loony when something happy happens & i want to smile like an idiot. LOL. is it a good thing?

i'm at ep 8 of heroes season 2 & seriously i am trying hard to get past every episode. the storyline is lame man. i dont really care about the shanti virus. tsk. i just want to see what happens to peter, hiro & claire. ohh maya really freaks me. i almost wanted to skip every scene when the black tears oozed out. i can imagine that happening in real life & i'm not looking forward to it or wanting it to ever happen. i hope season 3&4 are tonnes better.

i got so irritated & i nearly wanted to betray your trust & backstab. but then i rmbed abt stuff that i never want happening ever again. i think i'll just live with it no matter how much i just want to scream at you & knock you out of your senses. it dawned upon me how fake everything was in the first place. i hope everyone hates you.

i need to slp & study. how how how?

2009-07-17T00:04:00.002+08:00

i'm planning to start back on my heroes since it looked interesting when it was ariring on channel 5 just now. but series 2 really seemed boring. i cant possibly skip season 2 & go to season 3 straight right? hohoho i fell asleep unknowingly like 10 mins thru the show so i dont even know what happened other then milo looking EWW with his scar. HAHAHA.

wah lao everyone has the i want to pon tutorials and lectures thought but can't cauz either attendance will get affected or you'll miss out. so everyone is dragging their feets. i'm dragging my entire body. hahaha. sometimes i even feel like just meeting into an accident so i have a legit reason to skip class for quite some while. call me crazy. :P

yay i finally found someone who agrees with me how much the waffles sold at food haven suck. like eww eww eww. it makes u dont ever feel like eating waffles ever man. prima deli still rocks a waffles!!!!

i saw mr t today! HAHAHAHA so funny & weird. you have a codename as my ********* . HOHOHO. for the fun of it lahs. XD

time passes so quickly every single day man. i ponder if i made full use of my time everyday all the time. & when i see something or someone familiar, it makes me feel as though i've been left out in a whole lot of fun. BOOHOO. curse the education system man. i think even if i get to see all my friends everyday i'll still miss them. i need something to take my mind of reminiscing.

thanks loads for those who did the survey & thanks so so so much to my cousin for helping me out with my hated fom when she's super stressed out too. i love you ppl. <3!

i think i need to start writing/blogging/speaking in proper english. i cant believe i spoke to my dad in my speak to frens language. -.-''
i shall start my work and slp soon although i napped for 2 hrs.

where do we end up in the end?
i imagine a pretty place with endless smiles and laughter.
paint that pretty sight for me as how it was imprinted in my dreams.

2009-07-15T20:39:00.003+08:00

as time goes by, everything gets shallower & more superficial.
i call that growing up.

society killed us all.

you know what, i hate you till i'd like to see you in agony.
i hope **** ends & i'll never need to see you ever.

2009-07-14T15:30:00.002+08:00

i have one puffy/swollen eye. & i don't even know why. -.- i woke up cauz that one eye hurt. tsk tsk. & till now it still stings. i think i might be going blind. LALALA~

ohmygod i am so so so happy now like super duper duper happy that i want to jump like an idiot. i feel dumb smiling to myself. XD i need to share my joy!!! i want to call 3 ppl!

this shall be continued when i get home. :D

2009-07-13T01:10:00.002+08:00

ohmygod i just realise i'm slacking off way way way too much. what if i fail my modules. screw man. just screw everything. i have a throbbing headache, with so much to do but no idea where to start. tsk. my life sucks man.

i hate you. yes you & the irk-ness is gaining.

lalala i hope you crash & burn.

i think someone really needs to lock up my laptop. i was supposed to be doing my work since 2pm but i havent touched it at all & i'm prepared to get scolded or whatsoever. esp by my grpmates since i've still not exactly touched fom.

myes in slightly more than a month. THE HORROR.

okay i need some sanity,pronto.

i forgot how it was like to like what i was doing.

life as a dog is so much simpler. i long for a simple life where i no longer have to worry over anything &e everything.

i think i need rest like now.

2009-07-07T12:16:00.002+08:00

i've been unexpectedly cheery for the recent days. OMG like seriously i've been smiling myself all of a sudden. i feel quite idiotic but it's feels so sweet. :DD the songs i was/am listening at the moment had/has a major effect too. esp when i recall something funny or sweet. omg i'm smiling to myself agn. ((:

on the other hand i'm seriously lacking of sleep till an extent that i'm struggling to stay awake in tutorial classes. & i know my msts are screwed really really badly. BOOHOO.

can't wait for dome dvd! :D

i want to meet my peeps to catchup & i want to watch my transformers 2!

2009-07-04T13:56:00.004+08:00

time is passing too fast,till an extent that it scares me.
the greatest regret is not being able to remember every single detail.

ice cream makes me smile :D

can i say how much dance subaru sucks? not the plot but the directing & editing. everything was too sudden pls. " the lead turns back in the silence & suddenly bolero plays. -.- " & i seriously hate cathay for it's bs audio. i think i could have bust another eardrum.

i love how carefree it feels with the girls. (:

omo tokyo dome in like 3 hrs. LIKE OMFG. i hope someone cries. XD
tohoshinki fighto!

edit*
as much as i'd like to stalk soompi, i must let my brother use my laptop. BOOHOOO!

2009-06-29T08:49:00.003+08:00

to my dear phyllis:
i just don't feel like replying. i'm sorry girl, but i'm fine. love ya for the concerns kaes. MUACKS.

it's 8:48am & i'm not aslp. HOORAY.
i'm feel like puking out,water. bleah.

if it all fall,i will too.

2009-06-25T17:37:00.002+08:00

the dreams painted what was desired. it reflected how i hate the current state. the tears that flowed wouldn't solve anything. the endless rants about it wouldn't change anything. the tiny hope of reversal would never happen. it could no longer return to how it was.

innocence was long gone. hope was devastated.

i forgot how loving & caring they were to us, till i witnessed it.

but it didnt last.

if i could choose, i would rather not be here, if it meant their life could be better.

2009-06-21T08:21:00.003+08:00

3hrs of sleep, bloody warm weather, modern-day-vampires. & there's the perfect reason why i'm blogging at such at unearthly hour for yours truly. i had 5 bites just at my right ankle & there i was thinking it was heat rash. FUCK man. but my heat rashes aren't doing any better either. i think i'm gonna scratch till it bleeds.

school is starting in a weeks time. NOT A GOOD THING.
ihavenoteventouchedmybooksyet. the curse of the lazy chicken. <<--okay random.
i think i should get rid of my laptop & the internet.

secret addiction to the secret code. LALALA~

2009-06-17T23:13:00.002+08:00

total lack of slp for like 3 nights. i need to slp so so so badly.

lalala finally STONING DAY tmr!!! :D

i looked like a person who was prepared to go to bed in town just now. hurhur. comfy mans.

i dont feel like replying my msgs man! i miss A3! slack slack slack!

i have a gazillion things to say to ******* but words just can't seem to exit my mouth whenever the call arrives. maybe it's too mushy for our current status. it'll be better if u know what's going on back home,family,backy & ME. :/

2009-06-15T12:52:00.000+08:00

i think i gave up.

end my life & take my soul.

2009-06-13T23:45:00.003+08:00

hi, i'm tired tired tired. being out everyday isnt as fun as it sounds. well, it depends. HAHAS. today was enjoyable. like totally fun. but i can't exactly rmb what i did for the past week. esp on tues... hmmm.... where did i go on that day? OHH! i was in sch. LOL.

today was nice. but i/we waited for the bus for 46 mins. i nearly killed the bus driver. that aside, it's pretty fun. a lil catching up. i love them lahs. it's like i can finally say or do whatever i want without thinking. HAHAHHAA. just too bad we all couldnt stayover & stuff.

u know what? i think the topping up machine ate my 2 bucks. i cant rmb how many notes i inserted but the amount didnt tally. curse you idiot machine who refused to accept my money & kept terminating the try.

i need to start doing my work, i havent even done the research for fom that we're gonna discuss on this monday. i'm so so so dead. mst week is up & i have hardly any clue on any modules. HOW GREAT. i wonder if i'll flunk it. how how how?

i need to slp. i'm going out tmr too.
but i doubt i'll slp anytime soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI LE! :D

2009-06-11T17:52:00.002+08:00

it's so so so nice there. a whole lot better than what i imagined. it's even nicer than a chalet. wtf mans. the equipment provided is like what, gilette fusion? brooks? everything is provided lahs. & the facilities are all new. seems like a holiday instead of training. i wouldnt mind going there if it wasn't so physically demanding. LOL.

i don't know why but ***** just ******.
maybe i'll miss him more than i thought.

i slept at 4, woke up at 6.30, been out from 9 to 5.30 but i'm still not sleepy, except the journey home.

did i mention backy cried in the morn? maybe she knew.

2009-06-07T13:43:00.002+08:00

"Maybe you have not noticed it, but lack of sleep can cause hair fall. In same vein, physical stress can, too. Too much exertion of bodily energy leads to physical stress. And note this: doctors have also found that our emotional well-being affects the health of our hair. Emotional stress is as devastating to your hair, as it is to your heart. Keep your mind and emotions in check. "

i swear my hairfall problem is scaring the guts outta me. i see hair lying everywhere but not staying on my head. & my head hurts like fuck without any particular reason.
SOMEONE SAVE THE HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes i just wish i have the courage to pick up the phone & make the call. everything seems so much simpler that way,no matter what comes out of my mouth,no matter how the situation worsens. at least it's a portal to actually vent. technology is killing communications. how fake can cyberspace get. for all i know you might be laughing when i'm crying.

things need to take a turn for a better, not only for me but for all around me. i'm not oblivious to how much u're going thru.

staying up till 5,waking up at 4 is denial in its covers. peace.

2009-06-05T23:29:00.002+08:00

i was almost stuck in the lift. fuck sia.

i just got home like 30 mins ago. i stink,like literally man. my last shower was like 15hrs ago. i was in sch for more than 12 hrs. eww eww eww,it was the last day of sch for the term & i only got home at like what 11?

but anyways, i met zaki for astronomy!!!! we both like woah,for real? HAHAHA. but it was kinda lame, we watched a video/documentary about the big bang theorem but we didnt manage to finish it cauz the library was closing. -.- the other 4 of them was complaining how boring the video was. lols. the video was intriguing! i had tons of questions after watching it. the supposedly most look-forward part was a bore. like come on man,50 ppl fighting for 2 telescopes & 1 laser. how interesting could that have gotten? well,at least we got to relive a lil of our childhood memories. <<-- inside story. :DD

the lift at t19/20/21 was like faulty at 1st floor. it refused to open fully. it just opened like a few centimetres & it stucks there & freaky sounds as if some devil is trying to force open the door started. FREAKY sia. lucky i wasn't there alone. we all were like omg omg omg. even the guys in the lift,ps;vinod was in the lift. haha.

my thoughts are all mashed up.
stand by u is on repeat,over & over. :/

2009-06-05T01:05:00.002+08:00

it's too much an honour being the missing piece to the puzzle,cauz it definitely didn't feel that way.

i seriously don't get it why so many ppl had to be aware of the matter. i don't think i owe anyone an explanation except to the person involved. what do you want me to do? act like nth's wrong & ruin the mood. thanks for the concern but it'll be better if no one else gets involved.

last day of term 1! can't wait can't wait can't wait. astronomy tmr! woots~

2009-05-31T12:48:00.003+08:00

the 4 letter word kicked in once again, this time however, I actually went to the six letters. I can hear my friends saying FINALLY. haha.

CIP yest was really exhausting. I slept immediately after a shower when I returned. I slept on the bus ride home too man, when it was just like 8 stops? Now I can't recall much abt the event at all. I need to do my oral presentation about it but I can't rmb! *faint*

guess what? my phone got taken away by georgeteo aka mr chan behaviour-alike cauz i was smsing like 10 mins during lecture. I swear not greeting him 2 days b4 when I met him was the biggest mistake. I think I shocked him when I opened the door. it must have created a bad impression on me. LOL! but well, I think I deserved it. I just used my hp in the open as usual. (till the extend that if the teacher didn't realise he/she must be blind <--- a lil exaggeration la,DUH!) seriously, what's the point of hiding when it's so darn obvious that you're focusing on your phone. i still got my phone back after lecture. :DDD

stayed in sch till 9pm to do fom on thurs. 5hrs break in the afternn & 4hrs after sch spent for fom. it was really energy draining. presentation tmr. omgomgomg! we want our A!

1 more week of poly till hols! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!

2009-05-26T11:06:00.002+08:00

my brother is currently going thru his graduation in the same sch compound but i'm stuck in class. :/ okay technically my brother didnt want me there. haha! i woke up to an empty house man. backy was locked up in my bro's room so it was so lonely! boohoo. lols.

i am not going to update abt ggc's bday. screw u ppl who didn't reply my msg. F YOU.

guess what? chen hao treated dac02 to donuts/fries during tutorial yest. the WHOLE class got food! he just wanted a sandwich when he gave us a 5 mins break & someone started requesting for food & in the end the whole class got food! YAY! chen hao rocks. :DDDD

GSS is coming at a wrong time man. i don't have enough cash to actually get myself some new clothes. & it's cheap right now! why is life always like that?! opportunities always come at the wrong time! I WANT NEW CLOTHES + SHOES + ACCESSORIES! it's always that unfair! maybe i should borrow money to get them first. hahaha.

poly's ending in 2 weeks time! all hail (however u spell it la) holidays! GO AWAY PROJECTS.evaporate into thin air!!!

life is better without thinking about you. good riddance even if it means broken promises.

2009-05-23T01:47:00.002+08:00

fuck it seriously. i nearly ***** just now over it. shucks. i should just end the friendship. that solves all the pointless stupidity.

i nearly fell asleep in econs lecture & i just realised i've misunderstood fom all along. tsk.

mind over body, but apparently both are dying on me. freak it.

there's more than a flipside to the story.

2009-05-21T21:57:00.003+08:00

this is what 3 hrs of "hardwork" & only having the first meal of the day even though i was starving at 3:30pm looks like.

ROM tmr! ****** & some new girl. WTF. i feel sad for ***** jie. some kinda guy he is. tsk.

it's 2 more weeks till hols! yay?

2009-05-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

post deleted. X(

there's a lot of re-thinking to do.

2009-05-16T00:54:00.002+08:00

I kinda have many things to say but I have no idea where to begin & how to send the message across. It's one of those deep thought moments where you wouldnt normally go around saying such stuff to others. I contemplated privating the post but it's meaningless if the person I was refering to (as if I'm telling you right in the face who it is) didnt see it.

person #1
First things first, it's kinda DUH! that we no longer have anything much to talk about (well not that we really ever did other than goofing around when both of us are sians to the max) . It's kinda a mixed feeling when you know that someone you deem reasonably close to you (it's on my part) drifting away into silence all of a sudden. Well, you have your life to lead & your privacy to keep, but seriously it's depressing & disappointing when it's obvious that something's up but you're not telling. It's getting harder to even talk to you right now. Seems like trust is no longer there, you know what I mean?

person#2
There's like at least hundreds of stuff that we did together & at times, things really got rough. It's sad that we're both pretty caught up with our current studies & we aren't as close as we used to be (okay honestly,i did keep stuff from you. HAHAHA. ask me when you read this :D) . I'm only typing this right now because I wouldnt want to be regretting on what I should have done now ten years down the road. What's the point of complaining what I should have done when nothing is gonna change then? This might be the weirdest & most difficult period to endure but I hope we can live through it. May the force of TVXQ! keep us together. Don't fret about "failing" (SERIOUSLY YOU DIDNT USED TO CARE BUT NOW YOU'RE LIKE PUTTING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF <-- maybe it's a lil exaggerated but it's along that line) You will definitely make it through promos WELL. If you don't yunjae will never even have the slightest chance of being true. WHATEVER!

person#3
STOP IT WITH THE WHINING. SERIOUSLY! i'm kinda annoyed by it. Not that I'm irritated by you complaining,it's the content! We've circling that topic since forever & it always comes down to the same conclusion. It's worse than deja vu! Okay that's that. The thing I wanted to say is that if I ever call you please pick up the phone, cauz most often than not it's when I need to talk to someone (& I dunno why it's always you that I choose) . I know it's weird that I'm like looking for you all the time ( stop it lah, I have no feelings for him, neither does he, so just get over it already. find another pair to start a rumour.) but well, some stuff are hard to put it in words. Just know that you're like a brother that I can talk to. SO STOP going into hiding or not reply my msgs & stuff!

OKAY I'M GETTING TIRED & if you realised, only person#1's msg is like most relevant to what this entire post is about. the other 2 is just gibberish. HAHAHA.

watched A&D on thurs during our 5 hrs break. huimin was making lots of unrelated sounds like uhh (well i didnt really hear) when it's like shooting scenes. but I did hear when she shouted when they revealed who the bad guy was. LOUD can. LOUD.

xiuhui is so so so crazy over nu wang ben se & she asked me if I watched the show like 3 times in less than 10 mins. NEVER WATCH LA!

today's arcade was sian-ed. only clementi next time.

iamsososohatingfom. ithinki'llnotevenpassthemodule.

i fell aslp just now. so tired for no apparent reason.

just one point to add, some ppl just can't take hints. tsk. it only added to the disappointment felt.

2009-05-12T22:25:00.002+08:00

i was laughing like an idiot at dover for quite some time. it all started with the smell of waffles in the air from the shop outside mlt 9&10 (i can't be bothered to rmb its name) . can u believe that we actually went to clementi just to get prima deli choc waffles?! turns out that there's no prima deli there. *deadly stare at xiuhui* but it was quite fun, just from my craving for prima deli waffles it evolved to some eating clique formed & our grp won drinks for tmr! we rule! hahaha.

any ppl wanna head back to gess? i'm planning to find mrs tan!

2009-05-12T15:29:00.002+08:00

i need a remedy for emo-ness. someone kill barney & make me feel happier.

where did you go mr don't-call-me-mr-s-cauz-it's-too-darn-obvious (yeah right,i still dun think it's that obvious) ? i seriously miss you but not in that way, we both know it. hurhur.

stats is fucking boring. why do i have to go thru this. wah laos. i think i'm falling aslp. my mind isn't even in class. -.-

2009-05-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

life is somehow getting mundane. i'll wake up for poly, & backy will disturb me from the moment i go to shower till i leave the house. arrive at sch, feel super sian then break, & sumhow time will past quite fast & it's already time to go home. when i get home, backy will be crazy so i'll isolate myself & use the laptop. at the strike of midnight, instead of having all my stuff losing their magic, i get tired & fall alsp soon after ranging from 12am-2am. the cycle continues. how exciting.

there wasnt monday blues today! i was freaking awake ever since i woke up. felt really recharged although i had only 5 hrs of slp. MIRACLE. i don't even feel sleepy even though i got home at 10:15pm. hahahas.

gosh my command of english is getting alot worse. die die die. someone talk to me in proper english!

thanks to mag, i was having mixed feeling when i was talking to ** on msn. i'm still thinking abt alot of stuff when we talk. great. from nth to something that's not even valid. @.@ ineedtoseemoreppliknow. tsktsktsk.

2009-05-09T20:49:00.002+08:00

It's really fun seeing how much ppl know about you (well,myself). I doubt anyone can score full marks for that fb quiz i created. LOL.

Met up with the LC minus tricia last night & the only thing that I can rmb seems to be the questions mag asked! tsk. so embarrassing! hahhahahhaha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY song was the anthem last night! :D

time is passing too fast man. like ohmygod it's gonna be the fourth week of poly. my brother is gonna enter army in like a month's time & i'll be all alone at home. :/

which body part would you like to be? leg hair leg hair! NO! body cell! <---inside joke.

2009-05-06T20:48:00.003+08:00

i am effing broke right now. tsk. i can't even afford the sandals i want (well i haven't eyed on one yet). i really had no idea that mac was so freaking ex now. 6.55 for a bigmac meal! seriously man. i was still living in the era when it was 5.45. i nearly (well i actually did but only ppl close to me heard) shouted when i saw the price. it's like seeing some fren you know in jail on the papers on sumthin. & my bro just had to tempt me to get the frappe mocha at mccafe. on one hand i told him what i wanted & complained how ex it was, he ordered it a frappe mocha & refused to share with me. if it was a tv drama it'll be ****************** till we got home.

i just found out that my bro was the head of PR in cscc & nearly became the head of cscc. wtf wtf wtf. both nus & ntu accepted him if i aint wrong. i pestered him for an hour for his gpa but he still refused to tell me. wah laos.

i have an fom project to do but i haven't started even with the slightest bit of it & i don't really get what we're supposed to do. i am so so so dead.

edit*
vann saw me & she thought my brother was my bf. so funny. especially when i told her, her face was classic!

2009-05-02T21:54:00.003+08:00

revert things back to where they were. it feels emptier than it ever was.
i don't wish to long for anything anymore.

be my emotional support. i want to give up everything that ever mattered.

2009-04-30T18:04:00.003+08:00

YAY labour day tmr! means finally a day of rest from poly life. these few days have been really hard on me to actually pull myself outta the house. totally wish to pon. but then i'll fail terribly. tsk.

iforgotwhatiwantedtoblogcauziwasbloggingsomespstuff.wahlaos.

edit* [1/5/09 1:12am]

saw phyllis at tiong.chatted awhile.not those deep kinds but more motherly. okay i'm getting old. haha. but my dear you need to start studying soon okay. don't stand to regret later like how i did & i even freaked out for a a few papers. ohh & thanks for the concern everytime my pm changes! iloveyou okay. :D

i miss my friends so so so so much but i dunno what to say when i meet them. :( even daily msgs & msn doesnt solve anything. i need to see you ppl everyday lahs. i feel like crying. <<-- i'm sure lots of ppl are feeling somewhat like that now. :'(

cjn ar i think we are super detached right now. :( how how how? they should just demolish the education system & let us just have the knowledge we'll have in a lifetime. tsk.

the weather in SG sucks & i'm really hating it. when i choose not to bring my jacket, it rains. sian la. & when it rains it's nvr just a simple drizzle. it always accompanies with lightning. i think by the time i'm 50 this planet Earth would just self-destruct. the consequence of global warming & all the whatnots la. yes i admit i did contribute to it too. guilty as charged.

i wake up 1hr20mins (since my clock is faster by 20 mins,it used to be 15 but it just got faster one day.so wth right.) b4 the time i'm supposed to & i cant fall asleep after that. that explains my tireness every single day no matter how much i sleep. it's super annoying man. & i can't do anything to solve it.

you spin my head right round right round when you go down when you go down down.

i'm just really bored & i still can't rmb what i wanted to blog in the first place.

2009-04-27T21:51:00.002+08:00

3 yrs. but this yr it was a little weak with super loads of awkward moments & non-stop attempt-to-direct-attention chats celebration. MUFFIN! super impromptu since he was doubting me right from the start. haha. i should have planned this b4hand. tsk.

i can't really rmb what i dreamt last night but i know it was BAD BAD BAD. ~~did my p****ts d**o*n me or sumthin~~? all i could rmb was i woke up feeling all weird as if the dream was reality. i think i freaked out thruout my entire slumber,well since i didn't get much with constant waking up moments. :/

lunch at koufu today was super hilarious but i can't rmb why either. it's nth major like some sorta falling-with-food-in-their-hand-domino thing. but rather for small issues. i think i got even more tired after that crazy laughing.

xiuhui is not appreciating jj & yh! what 'later ppl think i see porn' . LOL. they are hotttt with to-die-for bodys! wah & can ppl stop saying jj look like someone from feilunhai? insulting leh!

mrt trip back was super duper awkward. at least i didn't have to carry my laptop! :P
mr s,don't emo one corner. don't be this! (who ask u went off nvr see la) <<-- maybe i'm exaggerating a lil too much. HAHA.

btw,my net connection is really screwed up. more than half of the time i can't receive msgs typed by others. zzzz super annoying.

my hair is still so sparse! i am going bald! my hair is feels synthetic in touch! someone save the hair!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-25T00:57:00.003+08:00

my brother is down for enlistment in less then 2 months time. & he got some award in sp for his academic perf. see why i don't like being compared to him la. but i still <3 him!

when i saw chen hao on tv just now,my econs cher popped up into my mind.HAHAHA.

it's no longer tgif,it's now idf(i dread fridays). all dac02 peeps would agree man! our bags are fucking heavy & we still gotta bring our laptop. what more we only have an hr break for a 10am-5pm day. okay enough with rants.

happy birthday zaki! when ur wish come true,do inform!
happy birthday shumei!

2009-04-23T18:46:00.002+08:00

my fom lecturer reminds me alot of mr chan. from the way he speaks to how cute his actions & comments might be. i think i miss gess a lil too much. okay i miss how mr chan teaches. no matter how strict he was he was still freaking adorable! my econs & ptn cher looks like chen hao. you know that hong kong guy. i personally only thinks that his forhead,hair & lips share a lil resemblance but after xiuhui told me, i was thinking about it for the entire lecture. hahahas.

it feels like it has been 2 weeks since poly started but in fact the fourth day had just ended. tired la. i slept for 4 hrs last night. the previous nights' rest didn't exceed 8 hrs either. & i fall asleep while using my laptop in the evening for like 2 hrs cauz i was too tired. i didn't fall aslp on my keyboard lahs.

i need to meet more gess ppl. meeting gess ppl makes my day. seriously. i think i shld camp at fc5 since that's where i meet most of them. i still haven't got to eat the new subway at sp. the first day they were running out of bread. wtf right. & the queues are always insanely long. it takes at least 30 mins to get food.

ben&jerry's was uber satisfying even after that long 30 mins wait. who ask all the geniuses from various jcs & sec schs to gather at gw. seriously it's kinda ridiculous. i saw ppl from njc,nyjc,jjc,hwachong,tampjc,tkgs,nhss,oss,qtss. & that's only what i saw at 5 + 6pm. i only got to go in the evening after sch cauz 3 ppl ps-ed me. tsktsk.

jj does NOT look like dadong,no matter from what angle! don't insult my jj!

2009-04-22T00:19:00.003+08:00

pissed off like fuck today. i feel like stabbing some stuff.

i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life. stop giving me the look like i'm pocketing the money needed. it's not my fault we're stuck in the predicament. don't act like i'm draining your resources. in fact, you took mine & didn't bother returning at all. just fuck this life over.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2009-04-20T21:23:00.002+08:00

i love my brother lahs. i was rushing to vch from city hall & i met my bro at citylink. it was totally unplanned & i didnt have the slightest clue on where he was. he asked me where i was going & i asked if he could take my laptop home. he did! like omg. it was super heavy plus there wasnt a laptop bag so he had to stuff it in his sling bag. if he didnt take it back my shoulder would have broken. lols. okay my brother isnt the usual nice guy so it was really nice of him to carry my laptop home. i was just told that he was heading out but he dropped the laptop back home b4 going out agn. sweet right! even he complained how heavy the laptop was. imagine me shouldering it the entire day. wtf.

i still love gesschoir & my sop2! wah lao i felt so bad when you guys cried la. helpless senior standing there not knowing wat to say or do. feel all better after the cry okays. no point trying to hold it in,you'll suffer more later when sumone mentions. ignore other ppl. seriously. esp all the bs-ers in sch. if you think that it's so easy then go sing la. unless you become the next justin timberlake or sumthin,don't act like you can do so much better when it's so obvious you can't. get a life suckers.

i am so so so so tired. freak shits man. i have to figure out the cure to my insomnia.

i met so many gessians today. makes my day la. so happy! except mr s that didnt shout out to me when he saw me & apparently was right in front of me. & subway was running out of bread. hahahs.

2009-04-19T18:24:00.002+08:00

i'm eating spaghetti now for dinner! yay. & i'm currently sitting at my dining table with a plate of spaghetti beside me. hahhaas.

i'm super excited for gesschoir's syf tmr,even more than first day of poly life. i think i'll be super distracted tmr. lessons from 8am-5pm with a break at 1pm. great,i think i'll either fall aslp or daydream my day through.

hidayah i'm fine! thanks girl! , phyllis,you totally shocked me sia. , rain we got affinity. hahahs.

i love ~~becky(backy)~~ ! <3<3<3

2009-04-17T21:22:00.002+08:00

it's free cone day at ben&jerry's on tues, 21 apr! go ppl go! take as much as you can! (okay i just sounded like a typical s'porean right here)

heaven or hell just differs with that slightest decision. but it's easier said than done. it refuses to sink in. time won't be the solution to the problem. it lies deep within. gosh amanda just accept the fact already. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i need to breathe,eat,sleep & think positively.

stop over-reading things too. not everyone thinks like you. get this in mind.

wahh i think i'm going insane with all the self-talk. TSK.

2009-04-14T23:27:00.002+08:00

waking up at 7am after so long literally drains my energy.i'm lifeless till the afternoon when the orientation is about to end.HAHAHA.

i don't know what the hell is wrong with my connection but web pgs are just not loading!ironically i can still chat on msn.wtf is wrong lahs!

ohmyy,cooberan thambirajah is leaving on thurs. :(

sch starts next week. choir's syf is next week! i'm more excited over the syf. i'll be there with them the entire time if not for poly. why must it be the first day of poly. long day summore. i can't even witness the release of results. zzzz!

taxi is emo right! -->>>
see the lyrics even more emo. my blog is so depressing,i know.

gosh i am still sick.i want to recover!

2009-04-10T22:27:00.003+08:00

guess who i met on the bus...............................
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my brother. :D

we need a better camera & a better photographer for camwhoring. lalala~

3 scoops of ice cream for 3 bucks!

$4 for a small tube of blowing balloon thing,PLUS sweet. arcade for the young. we looked so outta place there,like some childhood-deprived adult. LOL.

^ above sums up my day. too lazy to type in details anws.

we need to have more hanging out sessions. it's fun.

edit*

i just recalled,im so proud of myself cauz i spotted tvxq!'s photos in a shop & the 3 of us went gaga there. i was literally drawn in by the bookmark-sized photos on the wall. tvxq! <3

2009-04-08T15:11:00.003+08:00

chaching chaching ching. okay that was like the ending of timo/karen's game (i think) but i can't rmb the entire song. it's been in my head since i woke up. lols. i think the big fish,small fish & slurp caused it. hysterical. :B

ohmygod poly is starting in 2 weeks,with orientation next week. & i've been complaining to quite a number of ppl how bad my timetable is. :( i haven't broken the 'bad' news to choir yet. okay it ain't as sad as it sounds. it's not like i know a judge or something. hahahas. it's only bad news to like myself? lols. zaki is really attempting to make my accountantcy life hell & he keeps dwelling that i should have gone to the camps. zzz. it's war btw acc & ba man. HAHAHA.

chris,his twin bro & his elder bro really looks freakishly alike.if they headed out with a mask (those you put on when you're sick) & sat down,it's hard to really identify who's who. it'll be an amazing sight. sundram really had problems identifying people.not only the gan bros. hahahas.

my back,neck,shoulders & shoulder-blade still hurts like fuck sia. i really wonder how i sleep. god. pain like fuck. i need a massage.

it's darn obvious that we've drifted apart. that incident definitely played a major part of it. it's really sucky knowing that 6 yrs might have gone down the drain but you can't do anything about it.
i really want to stop losing friends. :/

2009-04-06T23:26:00.003+08:00

i swear i have loads of things that i wanted to blog about but i can't rmb anything at all. :(

shinjuku incident wasn't worth 10 bucks!well,right from the very start i had doubts about it since mr action-hero-jackie-chan was the main lead.but due to circumstances we watched it.i can start pushing the blame to like 5 persons.LOL.anyways,i had a fun time rating their service 3 (apparently they were too cheapskate to place the frowning face) .i rated for more than 8 times i think,but i'm not sure if it went thru though. the movie was like some language 'chapalat' sia.chi,canto,jap,hokkien,eng(i think like minimal?) & a few secs of some other dialects. it's a whole lot of slashing here & there with the cliche ending of everyone dying. well,nth much about the plot,it's just one of those pay-to-see-a-lil-violence movie. reminds me of crows zero.

wah lao i'm not very sure on how to get to njc.makes me really don't feel like going.zzzz.

okay i'm really distracted by other stuff & i've left this post unposted for more than 2hrs.

2009-04-03T22:44:00.003+08:00

wah sian i'm like super tired. time check,10.44pm & i'm actually tired. HAHA.

i'm not at home currently.i'm at someone's place.i ran away from home.woots.

i'm like a crazy bitch whenever i'm with my cousin. LOL. seriously crazy biatch. even i feel so. can you imagine me actually talking non-stop on a mrt ride or a bus ride? & it's loadsa bimbo-tic moments like i'm actually some airhead. it's fun though. get me to be a crazy bitch,cauz that only means i'm actually comfortable with you. :B

i am still emoing my guts out but it has definitely reduced. peace.

wah lao i miss studying so so much la. i want to get into a classroom & actually listen to teachers nag.

i dreamt that someone died horrifically,not the process but the person had his/her limb chopped off. i wasn't the one who found the corpse though,i think it was my mum. & ms karen tan you were there screaming & shouting for dunno what reason too. but you had nothing to do with that dead person. i think it was something else instead. ahhhhhhhhhhh i cannot remember la.

iwanttohangoutlikenobody'sbusiness&tonoutsidetilligethomesick.

2009-03-31T20:30:00.002+08:00

It's the last day of March already.Time is passing so slowly & quickly at the same time.Poly is starting in 20 days time. lalala~

Where does the end of the rainbow lie,when life is seemingly bleak till an extend of death is an option?

~ you fall into depression,but you choose to be lonely. ~

2009-03-28T17:41:00.002+08:00

It's tough trying not to blog when you don't have any other more time consuming thing in your life right now. But yeah,I'm trying to avoid all contact with everyone. My last text was a week ago & I have not communicated with any of my friends in more than a week. Life seems a lot quieter when you don't contact the outside world.

I'm sleeping earlier lately. Well,ever since my crazy 3 day high fever, I've decided to abandon my insane lifestyle of turning in only in the morning. The latest so far have been last night at 3.05am. I'm still not eating right though. & the chances of me getting blind are increasing significantly,especially so when I feel my eyes are about to pop out like every other second. Tearing for the entire night before actually getting too exhausted & falling asleep had a part to play though. I wake before noon now too. Great achievement, I would say. The usual would be me still happily in bed dreaming at 2pm.

Life is unusual for Amanda L huh. hurhur.
Time to enclose myself into my own world again. toodles~

2009-03-25T17:14:00.003+08:00

TAXI makes me feel like giving up everything I've ever cherished.

stay away from me.

2009-03-24T20:02:00.004+08:00

wah lao i just dropped my laptop like a minute ago & i'm still in the state of shock.it's only like 10 days old sia.heart pain!

but there's sumthin to be happy abt is that my fever has sorta officially subsided!woohooo~ it's at 36.9 now without panadol when this morn i took it was still 38.6.i hope it doesn't return so i can't let my guard down yet.it's super torturous.when i felt like puking,it seems like the only thing that would be present is water/liquid & nothing more since i didn't have much appetite the previous nights.gross shit.

i was napping in the morn/early afternn & i had a weird dream.i was in my pri sch,i guessed as much since it looked exactly like the my classroom in pri 3 (those who were in rv would know,that push open window thing) ,having humanities lesson.i can't remember much details but i remember my teacher was mr phoon.sian i tell you.LOL.anws,i was happily chatting my time away & he obviously saw me,so he called me to answer a question on the board.you know it's like those irritating teachers that pick on you when it's so obvious u're not paying attention.don't you just hate them?back to the story,i didn't have a clue on how to answer the question (it was sumthin to do with graphs(?) ,what if it's connect point to point kind or non-linear graph & what would the graph be suited for & in what particular country etc.) it was super embarrassing. i swore at that moment that i would study harder than anyone to prove to him that i can actually do geog. i woke up,wanted to get my book to study & then it hit me that Os has already ended. tsktsk,is this a sign of regret?

my brother is away for his cscc camp & i'm all alone at home agn.sians.

2009-03-23T14:17:00.004+08:00

i'm literally burning up & as much as i would like to slp,i can't cauz my body gets even hotter when i'm actually freezing.my fever got to record high,for me,of ~~38.9~~ 39.1.tsk.not to mention my muscles & joints are aching like fuck too.i wanna recover!i take panadol,1 hr later the effect kicks in & my fever is gone,3 hrs later when the effect dies i'm getting temperatures >38.5.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2009-03-21T17:02:00.006+08:00

EDIT 22march09 4:31pm

guess what?i'm really running a fever now & my sore throat has gone.me & my cursed mouth.

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my throat is hurting like fuck again.i rather have fever than swollen tonsils man.i can barely even swallow.sleeping is a torture too.FUCK.i feel like just cutting out my throat.

i think i'm lacking of vitamins A & B ever since i decided to eat decent dinner when i'm out or when sumone buys back.it's cauzing me fuckloads of health problems & i'm getting sick of them.i need to start munching on baby carrots.night blindness is scarying the guts outta me.

give me a call of sanity.i hate my life & myself.
i wanna cry :/

2009-03-19T14:41:00.003+08:00

cheerios!i finally figured out how to use the integrated camera.i feel so noob since i was always only one step away from figuring out.that sucks big time doesn't it?

although it's true that it is the process to the final result that matters,it affects one's view on the point of even attempting when the result would never be achieved,doesn't it?when you slog your hearts out trying to figure the right combination to the safe of finest results,you're faced with endless setbacks & the faith & hope for the final answer seems to diminish into nothing.

but as they say,when the going gets tough,the tough gets going.for no matter,the pure achievement of accomplishing the task at hand is gratifying.

gosh,i'm getting super lazy to even go out.i'm so so so sorry sm!perhaps i should actually turn in earlier instead of 4am or later.

i met coobe yest!it was really a coincidence when i looked & saw a familiar figure.i was secretly hoping i would meet more friends yest.i had the friendly mode on the entire day.HAHAHA.

i am loving jennifer aniston!she's young & old at the same time.gorgeous i tell you!oohh scarlett johansson is ermm...curvacious. ^o^

2009-03-18T12:45:00.002+08:00

s is bugging me to use my webcam but i'm camera shy! *blush*

okay i'm having a memory lapse & i can't rmb what i wanted to blog about.

anws,i shall just randomnly blog then.

the amount of hair(on my head) is scaringly scarce.it's like i juz started chemotherapy,choy touch wood la.but seriously,it's freaky to feel & see how much hair i have left.
you lose half of your fortune within a span of a month but you never realised.when you do,you feel lost & bewildered on how it actually happened.that's how i'm feeling.but for money,you can earn it agn.hair loss is something that can't be reversed unless i go places like what yun nam.LOL.

i have a question that has been bothering me for a long time.
how do you determine if something is good or bad?
isn't it subjective?but why does majority always mean it's the right choice?won't good prevail even if no one recognises?that's often not the case in reality isn't it?maybe good is recognised but not accepted.so what's the point of supporting something that you know isn't good but blindly follow because the majority is doing so?
life is ironic. :/

okay enough of random blogging.i need to figure out how to use the camera in my fugly laptop.yes,i'm noob.you got a problem with that?

dude,yes you,the one that is supposingly lived in north pole for all your life since u're always frozen,can you reply on msn a not.very annoying constantly having to ask if u're there & dun even get a reply even if you're back.